Confessions of a Small Town Pastor - James W. McManus
I am a small town pastor, and I confess that I love it! The seeds for this ministry and my love for it was planted during my time in seminary. The faculty and staff of the seminary encouraged us to be in prayer about where the Lord was going to call us to serve after we had graduated. They also encouraged us to pray about our own desire of where we would want to serve as a pastor/church planter/ missionary … and that we be specific about our desires, with the understanding that it always be the Lord’s will done. I found this to be good advice (and I highly recommend this all seminary students), so, I prayed about where God was calling me to serve after I graduated. Those prayers also included my specific desires of where I would like to go after I finished my studies. As a born and raised South Carolinian, I wanted nothing more than to stay in my beloved home state and be a minister of a small town church, laboring for the Lord under the palmetto trees and crescent moon!
Turns out, the Lord had other plans for me and my wife. My first call out of seminary wasn’t to a small church in the Promised Land that is South Carolina, but, instead, was to a church in Georgia for me to serve as the associate pastor of youth and family. Although it wasn’t specifically what I desired and prayed for, those 6 years there turned out to be some of the best years of our lives, where we learned under a wise pastor and his wife, growing in understanding what it meant to be a pastor, and having 2 of our children there. Those were wonderful years indeed and times we look back on fondly.
Then, finally, the Lord answered my prayers from seminary and called us back to South Carolina, for me to be a small town pastor under the palmetto trees and crescent moon! On the surface, it was everything I had prayed for, even down to some very specific desires. I have now been here for over 10 years, and I still love what I do and where I am. There are some things I want to confess as a small town pastor, starting with what I love about this call and place:
- knowing your people. Our membership has hovered between the 90-100 mark during my time here, with active worship around 70, sometimes upwards to 80-90. With that number of members, it’s easy to know your people. For me, the more I know my people, the more efficient I can shepherd them. I love knowing details about their lives - the joys, sorrows, victories, disappointments - because I know how to pray for them and how to shepherd them. It’s a privilege to go into the prayer closet and pray for my people by name and need. It’s a joy to know what is going on so I can shepherd them well. I think of Jesus saying that He knows His sheep by name. As His under-shepherd, I love personally knowing my people and being able to pastor them in that sort of relationship.
- known by your people. My people know me and my family. I live in the same small town as them. My family is involved with the ministry at the church. They have patiently endured me learning what it means to pastor them. They have loved me and my family well by praying for us, providing generous gifts and cards, and just having a relationship with us. They know my strengths and my weaknesses. They have seen my children act like brats. They have seen me have bad days, preach bad sermons, and drop the ball on some ministerial concerns. They still love me, and they still love my family, and they haven’t given up on us. It is good to be known and loved in this way.
- knowing people in town. I cannot go to the grocery store, post office, the local meat-and-three, or even for a walk without seeing someone I know. I have preached in other pulpits in the area and have gotten to know folks that way. Just living and being in a small town has built up these relationships. Because of that, some of these relationships have led to a pastoral relationship. It’s evangelism through just being a part of where you live. And, they love seeing a pastor being involved in their community.
- worship. Every Lord’s Day morning, I get to stand in front of my congregation, look out and see people I know and worship with them. I get to know about them and their lives, and see them worship their God, no matter the season of life they are in. I have seen grieving parents and spouses sing the Psalms … families grabbling with a cancer diagnosis pray the Lord’s Prayer … the newly wed couple take notes during the sermon … the anxious teen close their eyes and cup their hands to receive the blessing of the Lord’s benediction.There is just “something” about worshipping with the people you know and love. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I confess that I love being a small town pastor! But, as with anything, with the good comes the difficult. When I prayed for this, I didn’t know the difficulties that would come along with it. When we moved here, I didn’t fully realize how hard it could be to pastor in a small town. And, I know, moving forward, there will be other issues and difficulties that will arise. Here is what has been difficult for me as a small town pastor:
- sin. Yes, I know, sin is a difficult issue for anyone in ministry. What I have found in small town ministry is that there are less places to hide your sin. When a church member gets drunk in public, lots of people you know see it. When a church member is being contentious and difficult to deal with, lots of people you know see it. When a church member is known to engage in coarse language while watching a game, lots of people you know hear it. And, as the pastor, I hear about their failings. I hear the mumblings about how this reflects on my church. When your people’s sins can’t always find a place to hide, it can really hurt as their pastor.
- poor decisions. To go along with sin, when you see your people make deliberate poor decisions, it’s hard to not take it personally as their pastor. When you see some of your people choose sports which will keep them away from worship… or frequent travel on the weekends and they won’t go to church … or they choose to stay home and watch the live-stream b/c they just don’t want to make the effort to come to church … if you’re anything like me, it’s hard not to take it personally. It’s hard to not think that you have failed them as a pastor. That their poor decision is a reflection of your poor pastoring. Rationally and logically, I know that it isn’t always true. However, knowing that doesn’t always dilute that guilt and shame that if only I was a better pastor, they would choose worship and Jesus over the ways of the world. That can be a big burden to deal with. Sadly, as I talk with other pastors, we see these poor decisions being made more and more by our people … and that can be difficult.
- worship. There are some Sundays when the church is full, all the families are there, and some visitors have joined as well - I love those Sundays! There is no other feeling quite like the feeling of a Sunday like that. Then, the next Sunday comes around - and it’s only half of who was there the week before! Again, it’s hard to not think that is a reflection on you - if only I was a better preacher, if only I was a better pastor, if only I could communicate the Bible better, then they would choose to come to church! Maybe some of that that is true sometimes, but it’s also true that sometimes people have other reasons for not coming to church that bears no reflection on the pastor. However, it can still be a struggle.
- family. My family is well-loved where we are and you can’t put a price on that. However, being in a small town church can have its difficulties. There are many times when my child is the only one in youth group - and I don’t know any teen-age girl that enjoys that scenario! Thankfully, she has a good rapport with the youth leader. My wife has developed some wonderful relationships with other women in the community, but when you come into a situation where people have been friends since birth, it can be hard to develop those relationships. We were counseled by wise pastors and their wives that the live of a pastor and his wife can be a lonely one. What we have found is that being in a small town can be a different kind of lonely. It can be hard to watch your family struggle through those issues.
With all the good and difficult as a small town pastor, here is what I have learned: Jesus is good and Jesus is faithful. The grass is never greener on the other side. We could leave for me to pastor a bigger church in a bigger town, but there would certainly be difficulties there, maybe even (much) greater difficulties than what we face here. God has us here for His perfect reason. Knowing that has helped me to better see the goodness of Jesus in this ministry - to see people come to know Jesus … others to know Him better … prayers that have been answered … tears that have been wiped away by Him. His goodness can shine brighter in this context!
In that goodness, I have seen His faithfulness - to the ministry, to the church, to the people, to the community, to my family. We have gone through some difficult times here, but Jesus has always been faithful through it all. He never leaves nor forsakes His people. He faithfully leads as their great Shepherd. He is always leading them home. And, I get to be a part of that as His under-shepherd, by loving and guiding my flock in my small town. I get to see His work up close and be amazed at what He does.
Through all the good and the difficult as a small town pastor over the past 10 years, I have only grown to love my people and town even more as I see God at work in ordinary and amazing ways, and Him blessing this ministry in spite of the poor pastor I can be. I confess this - I love what I do and where I am, and I am thankful God answered my prayer to be a small town pastor in South Carolina!