“YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!” - Patrick Malphrus

If you enjoy movies like I do, maybe you recognize that iconic line that serves as the title of this article. Admittedly, it’s not on the same level of recognition as “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” or “Go ahead, make my day.” or even “I’ll be back.”, but if you love movies, you may just remember where it comes from.

Let’s have a little fun here. Use your imagination. It’s 1945 and you’re at the Corleone compound in Long Island, New York. You’re what could be called “the muscle”, or at least part of it, and you’re stationed outside of Don Vito Corleone’s office door. It’s his daughter’s wedding day, and big shot movie star Johnny Fontane, looking downcast, has just walked into Don Corleone’s office seeking a favor from his godfather, THE godfather. 

Through the door, you hear the famous movie star describe a situation that has defeated him and left him not knowing what to do. After describing the situation, he breaks down in tears and with increasing whimper says “Oh godfather, I don’t know what to do…I don’t know what to do…” The exchange is so quiet that you can barely make out the movie star’s pitiful words. And then, in an EXPLOSION of volume, you hear Don Corleone yell “YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN! What’s a-matter with you?” and then you hear him giving Johnny Fontane a good shake.

Wasn’t that fun? Let’s get back to reality. It’s not 1945 and you’re not on Long Island at the Corleone family compound. And let me be clear about something. My point here is not to extol the virtues or unspoken honor system of the mafia. I’m also not reducing manhood and manliness to acts of physical violence, machismo boasting, knowing how to gut a fish,refusing to let a tear slip or other such activities. Let me also be clear that I recognize that everyone faces times of great sorrow that result in mournful moments. And yes, sometimes a good cry is just what the doctor ordered.

But let’s be honest. As you consider the movie scene I’ve just described, doesn’t it spark something inside you? Can’t you sympathize with Don Corleone’s actions? Don’t we need men to act like men? As you survey what seems to be the ruins of classical American culture, doesn’t the lack of real manhood seem to be one of the leading culprits to its seemingly pending demise? But forget about American culture. Let’s get closer to home. As you consider the modern American church, and maybe even your own denomination, isn’t a lack of men acting like men leading to growing strife and discord?

Allow me to go from preaching to meddlin’. How do you deal with your problems? What do you do when trouble comes your way? Biblically speaking, all trouble comes from one of three places. And often enough, from a combination of the three. 

First, trouble can come as a result of sin in the world around us. Death, disease, and corruption are all the result of the Fall, when sin entered the world. What do you do when this sort of trouble comes? In a word, you are to trust in the Lord. As Psalm 146:5 says, “Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God.” And Psalm 146:5 is just one of hundreds of verses that point to the need of trusting in the Lord when we deal with the difficulties of life. When this sort of trouble comes do you turn to the Lord? Do you seek wisdom from God to process what you’re facing? Do you wait on the Holy Spirit to guide you through the trouble you’re facing?  You can act like a man and trust the Lord.

Second, trouble can come as the result of your own sinfulness. I remember seeing a fake church sign online (Yes, there is such a thing as a fake church sign generator. Google it.)

hat said “Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make dumb decisions.” Admittedly, that isn’t the softest approach, but the reality is that we often face trouble that is the consequence of poor decisions and sin on our part. What are you to do when this sort of trouble comes? In a word, you are to repent. Being a man of God means owning your own sin, not excusing it. David provides us with a wonderful example of someone who, when confronted, goes to God with no pretense. In Psalm 51:4a, after being confronted by the prophet Nathan for David’s sin with Bathsheba, David prayed “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” David would then go on to seek God’s forgiveness and restoration. When you face trouble that comes from your own sin, do you live out repentance? You can act like a man and repent.

Third, trouble can come as the result of someone sinning against you. What do you do when this sort of trouble comes? Interestingly enough, you’ve got options! But only two. Biblically speaking, you can either be a I Peter 4 man or a Matthew 18 man. What do I mean by this? When someone sins against you, you can choose to follow I Peter 4:8 which says “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” In other words, you can choose to love and forgive the person that sinned against you, and then move on. Or, you can love the person who sinned against you and choose to follow Matthew 18: 15-20 and go through the process of confronting, taking witnesses, and then bringing the matter before the Church, should the offender not repent. 

Two options. That’s what you get. Pick one. You can act like a man and choose one or the other. But what you can’t do is relinquish your manhood by being a gossip and behaving like we’re in middle school all over again. Act like a man. Don’t talk about people. Talk to people. Also, don’t be a practitioner of what I like to call “Keyboard Courage” on Facebook and other social media (including blogs), spreading intrigue about things that have happened instead of dealing with problems. Act like a man. If you’ve got a problem with something, deal with it. Don’t go running to Facebook. Don’t just gripe about your problems and stir others into a frenzy that is based on words and not actions. If you’ve got a problem with someone, deal with that individual, either in your own heart or through formal process. And forget about Don Corleone and The Godfather. It’s time to follow the Apostle’s final instructions in I Corinthians 16:13 when he said “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”