Seventh Commandment Teaching Tools (Youth and Families) - Ryan Gladden
In the twenty-first century, the world has reached the point of not simply being post-Christian but increasingly anti-Christian. The brunt of this force is exposed in the modern school system. The result of this is that many students either never hear the gospel or are guided to become actively opposed to Christianity for various reasons. So, there remains the ever-important task for leaders in the church to teach youth about the various aspects of Christianity. Throughout the world, the depravity of man can be seen as many people have become desirous to circumvent the limitations of God’s laws any way they can. This presents the further challenge for church leaders to teach the youth of the church about the importance and beauty of the Ten Commandments. One such challenge comes when the youth group arrives at the seventh commandment: “You shall not commit adultery” (Ex. 20:14; Deut. 5:18). Youth as well as their parents need guidance on how to understand this commandment and church leaders need to know practical ways on how to teach it. There are many different branches of the seventh commandment, but the overall focus for a youth group should be an emphasis upon sexual purity and the beauty of marriage as God intended it.
Biblical Principles of the Seventh Commandment
Sexual Purity
One of God’s greatest gifts to humanity are sex and marriage. Sex should always be viewed in the context of marriage. However, because of the Fall, the world, the flesh, and the devil use these great gifts by twisting and perverting them. It is almost unavoidable to witness this distortion in the twenty-first century with the various supporters of the LGBTQ+ community, transgenderism, sex outside of marriage, and more. This is the culture that youth are being offered as the best way to live and many succumb to this way of living because it is all they grow up to know. Therefore, the church leader will have to traverse the complexities of the situation to express the need for sexual purity in a world that wants nothing to do with it.
Marriage
By discussing sexual purity, the correct view of marriage must be presented and accepted. Genesis 2 presents Christians with the clearest explanation of what marriage is. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman for mutual support, reproduction of the human race, church growth, and true sexual purity. This goes against what the broad majority of the culture would consider marriage to be, yet Christians must stand firm on their convictions as presented in Scripture (Gen. 2:18-25; 24:57-58; Matt. 19:5; I Cor. 7:2-5, 36-39; Heb. 13:4; I Tim. 4:3). Marriage is between one man and one woman because they are complementary to one another, man and woman fit together uniquely and were made specifically for one another. Ultimately, as found in Paul’s epistles, the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage is to represent the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church (Eph. 5:22-33). This is engaged as the man loves, sacrifices, and faithfully leads his family as Christ does while the woman respects and faithfully submits like the church does. This mystery and union described in Ephesians 5 cannot be accomplished by trying to put two men or two women in the place of one man and one woman. Consequently, all homosexual practice is a violation of the seventh commandment. This point should be taught in a loving and caring way so as not to shut off those who struggle with this sin from the church. By understanding this, the full concept of marriage can be understood in light of the seventh commandment in its intention to protect this special relationship between husband and wife from any form of adultery.
Adultery
The only grounds for divorce presented in the Scriptures are adultery and willful desertion of a spouse. Even amidst this, the church and civil magistrate should work to see if there is any way the marriage could be rekindled (I Cor 7:12-16). However, if not, then divorce is permitted and often adultery is a devastating wound to a marriage that cannot be healed (Matt. 5:31-32; 19:9; WCF XXIV.5). Adultery has once been defined as “treating someone other than a husband or wife in the special way that only a husband or wife should be treated.” Accordingly, adultery includes sex outside the bonds of marriage, homosexuality, pornography, lust, immodesty, and the like. It is a matter of the heart where someone actively seeks to break away from the place where sex is permitted and enjoyed most abundantly, in marriage between one man and one woman. Simply noticing that someone of the opposite sex is handsome or pretty is not a sin, but it becomes a sin when it becomes a desire, lust, and coveting of that person of the opposite sex if they are not your husband/wife.
Practical Advice for Teaching the Seventh Commandment to Parents
In teaching the seventh commandment practically, the first thing the church leader will have to do is to meet with the parents of the youth that come to church to see what they know about the way the world tries to persuade others, what their own view is, and how to teach them the guiding biblical principles of the seventh commandment. In teaching the seventh commandment to parents, the church leader must not always assume that the parents know about what their children may be struggling with and how to discuss it with them. Also, the church leader cannot assume that the parents themselves will be on board with the biblical principles that will be presented. As these assumptions are taken out of the way, room is made for the ability to effectively teach the parents to emphasize effective communication and accountability and develop family valueswith moments for teachable opportunities.
To maintain a healthy relationship in the family, an emphasis on effective communication and accountability is needed. The church leader should stress that it is important for the family to have open and honest communication as it can help reinforce the principles of the seventh commandment. This emphasis can lead to healthiness in the family and easier resolution of conflicts as the family encourages them to communicate with one another about their emotions, feelings, conflicts, and other things. Also, the parents can hold themselves and their children accountable for their actions and promote responsible behaviors. This can help prevent the violation of the seventh commandment by promoting a culture of responsibility and mutual respect. As this communication and accountability grows, the development of family values can be engaged easier.
Several common values any family can prioritize includes loyalty, honesty, and fidelity. In doing so, conversations about the Ten Commandments could feel less forced. It can promote the principles of the seventh commandment and further guide the health of the family in general. By developing a strong set of family values, families can prevent any violation of the seventh commandment and promote the sanctity of marriage. These values can provide the way for teachable opportunities for the parents and their children. When a conflict may arise, it can be a moment to reemphasize the family values that have already been set in place. Therefore, a family dynamic of awareness and understanding can be present in these areas of practical advice for the parents being able to understand the seventh commandment and promote its importance in the family.
Practical Advice for Teaching the Seventh Commandment to Youth
On one hand, the parents are taught in matters related to having a better family dynamic and presented with the truths of the seventh commandment. On the other hand, the youth must be taught to respect each of their varying family dynamics and the importance of the seventh commandment. By doing so, the youth will be able to gain a strong moral foundation for their lives. To practically teach the youth about the seventh commandment, the church leader must be an example to the youth, emphasize the consequences of adultery, and engage with how they have been presented relationships in culture.
One of the most effective ways to teach the seventh commandment to youth is to lead by example. The Apostle Paul charged Timothy to lead by example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity (I Tim. 4:12). If the church leader that is teaching the youth about the seventh commandment fails to live in the way they are teaching, the youth will undoubtedly not take the teaching to heart. Everyone is called to be imitators of Christ in all they do (I Cor. 11:1). In leading by example, the youth will know what it is like to not break the seventh commandment in all that it requires and all that it forbids. The art of leadership, as President Dwight D. Eisenhower once stated is “getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” So, a good leader seeks to not teach abstractly, but to teach from experience and have a commitment to hold to those biblical teachings in their own life.
Leading by example can include explaining the consequences of the seventh commandment. Maybe the leader has failed in this area in the past and can share personal life experiences with the youth. If not, the leader can point out the saddening statistics of divorce, emotional trauma, sexually transmitted diseases that run rampant throughout the world today. It is quite shocking that approximately 40 to 50% of marriages today end in divorce. Presenting the consequences of going against the seventh commandment can be helpful when teaching the youth by showing them its importance.
A final way to help teach the youth about the seventh commandment is to engage with what their culture tries to teach them. Ask the youth what they are being taught in their schools and how that applies to the various classes that they take. Having this sort of dialogue with the youth makes the aspects of the seventh commandment less abstract. In order to help them combat the evils they are being taught in their schools and hold fast to biblical truths. The leader must be able to traverse this carefully, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to provide adequate and crucial answers to any questions the youth may have regarding this topic.
Overall, parents and church leaders should be able to say about the youth in their families and the church along with the Apostle Paul, “Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me, in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you” (II Tim. 1:13-14). It is crucial for the leader, parents, and youth to see that they are sinful (I John 1:8). This should provide the avenue to a continual faithful commitment of the confessing of sins (I John 1:9). As a result, all will be guided to see that God is faithful to forgive in the genuine confession of sins (I John 1:10). A lot more can be said about the various aspects of not committing adultery and how to properly teach this to youth and parents. However, may this provide a good and solid base for the church leader that seeks to take on what can seem like such a daunting task. Through the practical application of the teaching of the seventh commandment, may there be more and more children of the true faith growing in Christ and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth.