What is Normal? James McManus
As I write this, it is Friday, January 6th - and it is a beautiful afternoon here in the midlands of South Carolina! I am able to sit outside, have a nice little fire going in the outside fireplace, and work on this blog post for the new year - not a bad setup!
As I thought about what to write, my mind kept on coming back to this time of the year and our ritual/tradition of making new years resolutions. Maybe you made one or two or twenty! Go on a diet … get more exercise … read your Bible more … read more biographies … spend more time with your family.
I have a sneaking suspicion that behind our motivation to make these resolutions is to make our lives better, or, maybe, more “normal”. By “normal”, I mean that which is closer to what something should be - the norm. We could better to have a more normal life … we could exercise more to have a more normal health … we could read our Bible more so we can have a Biblically normal faith … etc. We want a more “normal” life - a life that is lived as it is supposed to be.
The idea of “normal” is fascinating to me because it is something I have been desiring for a long time. This desire stems from anxiety. I had my first anxiety attack in college. It happened when I was preparing for a speech for my public speaking class and I can remember most of the details that night, even though it took place 26 years ago. I would have these attacks periodically over the next several years, even through seminary. The summer I was finishing up my M.Div, the attacks came back with a vengeance, and I decided to go see a Christian counselor. At our first session, the counselor asked me what did I want, what was my goal? My answer was simple and direct, “I just want to be normal”. He chuckled (not unkindly) and asked me a challenging question, “what is normal?”
How do you answer that? No more anxiety, no more being anxious about being anxious, white-picket fence with 3 kids, a dog and cat, and a wife who adores everything about me, even my snoring? He used that question to help me understand a Biblical truth - there is no normal.
Why? Because we live in a world that is fallen and broken by sin and sin has affected all parts of creation, including humanity. By the normal standards of the Bible, there is no normal because we are all born dead in our sins and trespasses … we have been conceived in sin … we were at one time an enemy of our Creator. That takes normal and shatters it like a fine china plate dropped on a tile floor.
I “knew” this, but I didn’t know it. It was a truth in my mind, but it was more of an abstract theological truth than a practical theological truth to be applied to me and others. It was very freeing to realize there is no normal and, therefore, I wasn’t some sort of untreatable freak of nature! Because of sin, there are disorders such as anxiety, depression, bi-polar, schizophrenia, PTSD, etc. There are issues that go beyond our control. Sin has truly affected all part of humanity.
From this, I also had to learn that Psalm 32 is true. Unrepentant sin can lead to physical and mental distress. It may be that someone is suffering anxiety or feeling sad because they have a sin they refuse to repent of. It may be that the hand of God is heavy upon them because they coddle their sin instead of bringing it to the cross. No amount of medication can take care of that. Only the forgiveness of the Almighty God can take care of that. Repent and believe!
Sometimes it’s unrepentant sin. Sometimes it’s more than that. Charles Spurgeon would suffer from debilitating bouts of depression, to the point where he couldn’t get out of bed. Martin Luther would grow so melancholy that his dear wife, Katie, would meet him at the front door of their house, wearing her funeral garb, in order to grab his attention to the state he was in. David penned the famous words, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.” Those are the words of a man deep in the dark night of the soul. All of these men are Godly men, who repented of their sins and sought the holiness of God. Yet, they weren’t normal. They were far from it. It was no fault of their own. They are just like you and me - men living in a fallen and broken world, sin affecting every part of their being.
As we deal with ourselves, and others, I would counsel that it would help us to keep in mind that we are all desire some sort of normal that we will never be able to reach this sound of the heavenly Jericho. There may be some who read this who know this deeply and intimately. There may be some who we are ministering to who needs the ear of a pastor/elder, to sympathize with them, to lead them to the cross - and maybe to a counselor or therapist. May God grant each of us an understanding that we live in a world thoroughly affected by sin and wisdom of how to navigate that with ourselves and our people.
SDG - JWM