Get Off Your Duff and Go Do It: How to Care For the Lonely in Your Church by Rev. Benjamin Glaser

I live in a house with four kids, a wife, a dog, and have a rabbit and eleven chickens outside with plans for more creatures in the future. One of my goals with all that outdoor wildlife is to be self-sustaining as well as to teach our kids about the value of life and what needs to happen for their food to get to the table. I am a frustrated Agrarian in many ways. I’d give my left arm for more land and tractors and all the money that would take. It also provides me with something to keep my time full and gives me an experience that is not-ministry related, a stress-reliever of sorts. Yet out of all that something that can be said is that it means that I am never alone. There is always someone, or some animal, keeping me company. My children are young teenagers and older youngins. They have baseball, basketball, karate, and now driving and work to do. Being by myself is not a common occurrence, in fact it is a little unsettling when no one is around.

However, for many people in our congregations, in our communities, and elsewhere that is not the case. They are always alone. Home health, the power company, maybe even a pizza delivery man is the only time they get to see other people. Whether they be homebound or just without friends or family nearby my normal is not their normal. As a pastor I spend a lot of time visiting with folks in that kind of situation. A question I ask myself is how can we as a Church, and how can I as their minister do a better job of providing community and friendship to those who are lonely, even if they don’t want to admit to needing that kind of relationship? That’s what we are going to look at today in this post for Seventeen82.

Being a good Protestant let's look at what the Bible has to say on the matter. If you put the word “lonely” or “loneliness” in the search bar of the Google machine with the limiter “Bible” it turns up one suggestion: Isaiah 41:10 which says, "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”

While not a chapter and verse answer it does however give us a good place to start.

Notice that the first clause is a warning.

Fear can be defined in many ways, but one of the key markers of a good horror director/writer is the way they use the unknown. True terror is not seeing the character or force that one should be afraid of but knowing that it exists and dreading its appearance. It’s one of the reasons why good slasher movies rarely show the protagonist. The movie-maker wants you to know that Jason or Michael are out there and can appear at any moment. He or she is not making a First-Person documentary. The people running from the unseen monster are far more interesting. That may seem like a weird discursis to talk about people being alone, but think about the point here for a second. The Prophet Isaiah is telling folks to not be afraid.

How are they not to be afraid? By being reminded of the LORD’s presence in their life, yet it’s not just a “Jesus and me” type of relationship which leaves the person still physically isolated. The helping and the upholding come from His righteous right hand. Christ has provided the means and instruments of supporting His bride, the Church. Like any good husband He knows the trials and tribulations that His spouse can and does face and comes with sources of provision. In the case of loneliness it is the very union of the disparate parts of the body unto which He is married that offer that assistance. The way to have assurance of safety when Freddy is running around is to be next to the main actor in the film. A studio didn’t pay all that money for a name in the marquee to die in the opening credits, unless of course your name is Janet Leigh, but suffice to say our Heavenly Father is not Albert Hitchcock. God the Father in His Son has given us every reason to never fear, or to be afraid of the unknown, or the absence of presence, because of the promise He has made in the verse above: I AM YOUR GOD. Not to sound like a campus youth minister here, but since Jesus is the main actor in your salvation when the terror of midnight comes there is nothing to fear but fear itself. The isolation so many feel is taken away because the King has sent His army to bring a sense of safety to His people. If we belong body and soul to Christ then the words of John 10:29 are even more powerful, “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand.” Yet all this fuzzy goodwill cannot be accomplished if the Bride isn’t doing her part.

So how can the Church provide that for those among their midst who need it?

First of all we have to be willing to do it.

That may seem like Captain Obvious sending out his fortune cookie analysis, but at the end of the day that is the real problem. Most Churches struggle with finding volunteers to do a number of things. Adding another duty or sign-up sheet or ministry director just kind of adds to the issue. It shouldn’t even be something that Christians need to be asked to do or pleaded to do from the pulpit in the announcement time. There should be a desire to serve as part and parcel of being a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. No one should have to bug you to look after your brother and sister in Christ. As Hieronymus Bosch’s desk noted: get off your duff and go knock on doors.

The Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 9:1 says, “Now concerning the ministering to the saints, it is superfluous for me to write to you…” He writes that because IT IS UNNECESSARY FOR HIM TO WRITE THIS BUT HE HAS TO BECAUSE PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO DO IT. So many times in the Christian life we want to read a “Top Ten Ways to Do X…” because reading it about it and sharing it on Facebook is easier than just going out and getting your work done. Members at Bethany will tell you that one of my favorite things to say from the pulpit is “This isn’t Rocket Science.”

Because it isn’t.

If you have folks in your Church, on your street, in your community who are lonely go talk to them. Ask them what they need, what they would like, just do it already. No amount of reading long-winded nonsense like this will get it done. In fact put down your phone, turn off your computer, toss the tablet in the back seat of your car and go visit with a shut-in right now.

If you are still reading this you haven’t listened.

Be the neighbor you want everyone else to be. It isn’t hard, just the problem is we don’t want to.