A Friend that Sticks
Rebecca Harkins
One of the greatest scenes of friendship in all of literature I believe is in Tolkien’s book, The Return of the King. Frodo Baggins proved time and time again in his journey that he needed his friend, Samwise Gamgee, with him. When Frodo collapses under the burden and exhaustion of carrying the ring to Mordor, Sam picks him up in an act of selfless friendship and carries him to fulfill the quest they set out to accomplish. Heroic tales like these of great dedication and valor for the sake of another are an encouragement for us in our own friendships as we walk with others through life. A faithful friend is someone to treasure.
How do you teach your child to be a faithful friend and find faithful friends? Because human beings bear the image of God, we desperately crave and need community. For all people, it is true that friendship is a deep and important need in sharing life together. Faithful friends are hard to come by in our world of self-isolation and self-seeking. C.S Lewis writes, “Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one’.” We all want to have someone to walk shoulder to shoulder with in life and a friend to carry and support us along the way through the peaks and valleys. As children grow, their ability to connect with others prepares them for the journey ahead when they face joys and sorrows. They learn to lean on others, love others, and point others to Jesus. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
A simple yet profound way of encouraging children in making friends is to teach their eyes to see others as made in God’s image and worthy of care. Another way is modeling friendship in your own life can teach children how to practice bonding with others. Parents, do you have friends around you who encourage you and point you to Jesus? Teach children that to show kindness to each person reflects the overflowing love that God has shown us. Teach them to reach out to others in their school and neighborhood by asking them questions about themselves or inviting them to sit with them at lunch or to birthday parties. In a children’s church program setting, include a time set aside for simply the building of friendships. Have children ask and answer questions to each other about their favorite things and about who they are. This creates an opportunity for them to say, “me too!”.
Our Savior teaches us real and eternal friendship is found ultimately in him. Proverbs 18:24 tells us, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Jesus is that friend who sticks closer than a brother. A friend who has seen us lonely and downcast and gave his life for his friends. A friend who knows exactly what we feel and can understand what we are going through more than any other. Jesus had eyes to see those who were on the outside and in need of his friendship. Teach your children that to be a friend, you simply look on Jesus to see his servant heart and know that you are loved and blessed to be a blessing to others. Jesus’ love for us is shown in his words and actions in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.” Jesus, what a friend for sinners who is with us to the end.